It's been a while

Time is passing so fast

Now, I am back .. busy again

It's hard to describe what just happened

I am just moving on

Taking all the good opportunities to get experience in a challenging way 

There is nothing to regret

because all of it is blessed

YA

Grateful

Los Cuates Old Town, Alexandria, US

when you fall down

when you feel a disconnect 

when your mind is too blurred to see the world

when you don't know yourself

when you feel so empty

when you try to stay awake

when you keep sane in this narcist era

when you try to keep your feet still on the ground

when you finally got your first recognition of your genuine mind and hard work

Always be grateful. For whatever it is.

C'est la vie

-YA- 

Just overwhelm

what is happening to the world

everything seems to crumble down

people can't stand on their own feet

gravity pulls them apart

..

I am not talking physically

Good People

Good people are not always treated well
they often get hurt
maybe that's why they have a big heart
they leave little room for pain
they become stronger because of the broken heart

They grow up and more mature
always put a big smile on their face
don't want to let people know what is inside
they will not stop being kind

and sometimes, they have to be cruel to be kind

-Y-

Just life

When life is no longer as pure as you thought
And peoples around you no longer have sincerity
They act like they care, but we never know their genuine heart
Empathy is a scarcity 

Then, you can not feel any beauty of the blossom flowers, nor their good scent
The air is not fresh enough to breath
The bright sky is just a light pollution
and you do not feel tranquility of your lovely place

It is sad, yes it is

Well.. it is just a part of life
The feeling of madness, sadness, dissapointed, depressed
Same like the feeling of joy, happiness, satisfaction
when you feel that every little thing is a bless

It rolls up and down
just a matter of time

Just don't expect it to come as exactly as you wish

Surrender.. accept it.. try to talk to person you trust, you love, you care
Share the moment
But not the feeling
It heals you

-Y-

Up and Down

Life is not a flat form 
Sometimes up and sometimes down, 
By your feeling, emotion, and love

Not only you can hurt by your ego
Others will too

Just fly with it
You will gonna drown
And sink

-Y-

Pain and Gain

There is an idiom says that no pain no gain. It seems so optimistic. The words telling us to keep going on something, until you realize that you already get what you want. There is a prize that you pay from your sacrifice, and you are not a victim of your own goal, you are what you do, and for sure that you will get what you want.

Despite all of those aspirations, have you ever though about other version of pain and gain meaning? Like example, a thought to answer these questions: do we know how much we will get after all the effort, how high we try, how hard we work, how big the result that we will get. Then can we get satiscation, or do we know what do we really need.

We all born unique, i mean we bring all the stuff differently from others. But we have to thankfull of what we are, no matter what. Right? 
Then we try our best to be a better person or to be a person who we expected or the worst is that we try the best to be a person that someone else expected. Yeah.. sounds silly.

We all not born in a good situation, good looking, nice place and a great wealth. Everybody knows it. 

I just want to say that not all pain is gain. It is just a pain without any gain. Just a pain, and we don't need to expect about gain. Just a pain. I know that a hope is an oxygen of life, but hoping too much will kill you. I mean not like a kill that make you die, but kill your logic and raise your misery. 

We only have to cope with the pain. That's it. How about gain? it is a bonus. Yeah, BUT you have to know, that there is no certainty in a bonus. 

Lesson

When i was walking in to the wild forest

i tried not to think about a snake

i believed there was a beautiful scene and the river was waiting for my coming

and i kept thinking about white gentle handsome horse 

that was diminished my fear

but i was afraid of bad people

who would be appeared all of a sudden

cos i wasn't good in reading personality

i trusted people easily

till i realize

that no one can be trusted 

unless my self 

-Y-

What to do When You're Feeling Blue

Happiness doesn't always come all the time in this earth. Sometimes, when we get any trouble or just a sudden swing mood because a hormonal imbalance (especially woman), then the blues comes. Feeling blue or gloomy must happens to all people, although the intensity of each person must be different. So, what we gonna do if that feeling comes? do we want to keep in that miserable feeling and get exhausted? Or realize that we have to wake up and do something to erase all the bad mood? 

Well, here is the top nine (9) to do when you are feeling blue, based on my experience:
1. Read
Only if you like reading, then you can choose the themes that can raise your mood. This activity diverts your mind to something that far away from your gloomy and drowning you into a new thought. I have my own list themes that i should read, can be a novel, fancy column in the newspaper, favorite website, great blog, or etc. Of course you can make your own list, can be beneficial in case just for killing time or can be your medicine when you get sorrow.  

2. Take a bath
Taking a bath cleans a mesh on your body (literally) and a burden of your mind (not literally) in a psychological way, also it freshens up. You can modify with some tricks, such as do scrub before shampoo; soak your feet with warm salt water; shower your hair; soak in warm water or in aromatherapy bath.

3. Eat an ice cream
Who can resist an ice cream? the answer is probably no one. An ice cream will put you in an enjoyable moment. Go to a market and choose the flavor that match with your taste at that time, or you can try a new one to get the experience.

4. Eat chocolate
This is not a priority to erase the gloomy, but you must try. If you know the most delicious chocolate ever, find it, get it and enjoy it.

5. Contemplating
Refresh your mind by throwing all the bad things of yours. Filling it with a wise and a kind things. Take a positive energy from the universe by inhale and exhale rhythm. Also suggest your mind that you are an open minded person. Embrace yourself. If you are a religious one, you can do pray.

6. Sightseeing or window shopping
You can do this activity by going to mall or just browsing in internet. You don't have to buy any goods that can make you happy, you just have to fulfill your mind with the new catalog and satisfy or wander your thought with fantasy.

7. Do your hobby/es
First, you have to recognize your hobby. Then second, be creative with the things that be your passion. Admit that you are really talented. This things make you floating in fun and enjoyment.

8. Writing
You can do just scratch in your gadget or laptop about what you are thinking. It helps you identify the source of your sorrow, why it comes, and how to solve it. Or you can try to writing something fantastic. But...before you write something good, you better charge your brain with knowledge. Come on.. a lot of things that you don't know. So wake up lady! Read and write!

If you are in a condition in being a hater, then try to write a good things of yourself, about your life, and be grateful with what you have.  

9. Sleep
Yes, this can work if you are tired and also sleepy. So you can wake up in being a new you.

Well... guys.. see.. you can do many things to cheer up your soul. These are just a few that you got from my experience. There are still a lot of things to do, such as mingle with your lovely family or best friend, watch the movie, cooking, cleaning out your closet, or else. Have your own experience to get rid off the blues and bye-bye the gloomy.

-Y-

Today's Life

Don’t judge a book from its cover. Everybody know about this proverb. But to keep positive in this wild world is not that easy. One thing (maybe) another challenge is to hold your hand not typing your sounds of mind.

Letting people know your condition seems beatify. Nowadays, social media really works as a diary book without secret. I cant stand with people who love to scold or cursing in a virtual world but act such a nice person in the real life. I try to avoid that person.


Does it mean I snoop? No.. I read from my wall, those statements just passed through my eyes whenever I scrolled down the page.


Yes.. this is an expression of thought too.. also a diary. Well then, I am a part of those people. This could be means that I am being in a "list of those that should be avoided". 

-Y-

The Village Girl and Three Magic Beans (The Fairy Tale)

Once upon a time there was a girl whose name was Trisha. She was 15 years old. She had still been grieving over the death of her father two years ago. She only lived with her mother whose leg was paralyzed. They lived in a village which was near the river. As she had to buy food for them to stay alive, she worked so hard every day. Her mother could not walk too far, she only could cook, she could only cooked their breakfast and prepared lunch for her daughter. If there were still vegetables, she would cook for dinner. 

The village girl always woke up in the morning. After cleaning the house, she had breakfast with her mom, then brought food for lunch which was prepared by her mother. Then she went to the forest to look for firewood. If the amount was enough for her to carry then she went to the market to sell it or traded it with bread or vegetables. The market was near the community center which was almost 7 km from her house. After she got groceries for dinner, she walked around the community center. She was interested with something, there was a school for villagers. She had gone to school before her father died. But now, she had no chance because she had to take her father’s position in the family. She still wanted to go to school, but she could not say it to her mother.

The school started at 9 am and finished at 3 pm. The school’s time was designed for villagers, but she still could not get in with it because she had to collect firewood and sell it to seller after 2 pm, then she went quickly to the school and sat in front of the school and asked the student’s she met about today’s lessons. Even she never got the full lesson, she was always happy to hear about new things. She went home before dark then gave the groceries to her mother to cook.

One day, when she was waiting for the student near the school’s gate, suddenly there was an old lady in a wheel chair that got closer to her and said: “my dear, can you help me clean my ditch? it is clogged, full of dry leaves. My home is just near here”. Then the village girls said:”Of course madam, it would be my pleasure”.

Then she helped her, by pushing the old lady’s wheel chair to the house and began to clean the ditch. She finished it before dark, and she said to that old lady: “Madam, i have cleaned your ditch, now the stream flows again. Is there anything else i can do? I will be glad if i could help you more. The old lady said: “Nothing, my dear. Thank you for your help”. She said: “you are very welcome Madam, now I must go home, my mother is waiting for me”. The old lady said: “Oh, you are a kind hearted girl and diligent. Your mother must be proud of you my dear. But wait!”.

The old lady pulled out something from her pocket. She took three beans and gave it to her. “Tell your mother about your will to go back to school”. The village girls was surprised that the lady knew about her. The old lady continued:”These three beans are for you, plant two beans in your back yard. And it will grow into gold and vegetables. The last is medicine for your mother. If she eats the bean, she will get healed. So you don't have to look for firewood by yourself,  just go to school with the gold, and your mother can cook and grow vegetables everyday”. The village girl was very happy, she said thanks to the old lady then she went back home in a rush. She was very excited to tell the story to her mother.

At the dinner, she told her mother about what had happened. She gave one bean to eat by her mother. Then a miracle happened, her mother could move her leg. Now her mother was fine again. They were both very happy. But when she told her, she really wanted to go back to school, her mother cried and said sorry that she did not know it at all.

In the morning, they began to plant the other two beans. After they finished cropped the beans, suddenly from the ground grew gold and vegetables. They were very happy. Then The village girl prepared to go back to school with her mother’s blessing. 

- Y -

Street for Pedestrians (Opinion)

A pedestrian is a person who travels by walking or running on foot. A street for pedestrian has many terms, such as pedway (pedestrian way), sidewalk, path walk, side street, pavement or pedestrian street. In Indonesia it is called “trotoar”, for this writing let us use the term pavement. In other countries, especially in developed countries, the proper pedestrian street is one of success the indicator’s for citizen’s mobility. These facilities are made as convenient as possible. There is a clear path for pedestrians. By this, the vehicles must respect the pedestrian as long as the pedestrian obeys the rules. How about in Indonesia, do we have enough pedestrian facilities? Or does the pedestrian have their right for good access and walk comfortably in our city’s street? 

Walking is the cheapest transportation option, and also benefits your body. But in Jakarta, people prefer to go to their activity places by car, motorcycle, taxi, bus, or ojek. Beside the long distance, they don’t want to walk in Jakarta because the pavements are terrible. The pavement are not fully dedicated for pedestrians but also the trees, potted plants, signs and markings, sometimes there is a hole for the drainage system. Sometimes, the development does not respect the right of pedestrian. They use pavements to fix the drainage under it, by demolishing the drainage several times and after that the surface of pavement gets worse. This is annoying and uncomfortable. Plus, the motorcyclists and the illegal shoppers use the pavements too. This makes the pavement’s functions vanish. The changed of pavement into the ladder for cross bridge to busway station, is another problem too. By this conditions, the pedestrians have to give up and being second user and under-appreciated. In fact, the pedestrians are the hero of the environment because walking pollutes less. In an attempt to reduce emission and carbon footprints, the government should encourage built development that support pedestrians. But the reality is different.

Government has developed the infrastructure such as road, highway and flyover that dedicated most for vehicles. They also support automobile procurement from a financing scheme. Then the results are more traffic jams and pollution, such air pollution and noise, especially in the big cities. People spend a lot on their money, time and their health. By looking at these facts, now is the time to give the right back to the pedestrians. The local government must put in more effort to create walk able streets. For example, in Thamrin-Sudirman Street, the local government of DKI Jakarta has been trying to fix the face of the city since the leadership of a new leader. They fixed up the pavement surface, and also put the street’s accessories such as benches for city beautification and bollard to protect pavement from motorcyclists. By this approach, pedestrian get their right.

In fact, not all the citizen work in the protocol road, there is still a lot of people who work in arterial or collector roads which needs attention from government to improve the pavement. So, government has to put comprehensive planning to encourage pedestrian and take back the function of pavement for pedestrian. Meanwhile, there is one group of walking supporter who wants to socialize and support walk ability in Indonesia. The website’s name is www.jalan-kaki.org which launched in the Habitat’s Day 2013, three weeks ago. They found that sometimes our citizen only could accept the existing pavement because they didn’t know the correct one. Maybe for people who have visited others country for example Singapore, they will protest with our pavement condition. So, “jalan-kaki.org” has been trying to raise awareness about proper pavement to promote sustainable development in Indonesia. 

Even though the facilities for pedestrian are not sufficent enough, but at least there is a class action’s group who will fill the gap of our development. By awareness of the citizen and action from government, the nation puts a big hope for better Indonesia in the future. 

- Y -

Tweets of Jilbab

What do you expect to share your thought in only 140 characters? Some smart guys give a kultwit by making numbers for every tweet. Their tweets are enlightening peoples by their smart chosen words, so amazing. Twitter is a place to share your opinion or everything to speak your mind on your own private wall. But, we are not alone there, maybe few peoples who care or take a little attentions will read your tweets and give many reactions depend on their interest. People who can share many interesting issues must have read a lot, a lot of books. Well here, because i don't read a lot, so .. i just can share uninteresting issues with only few words. Hehe...  

Yesterday, i tweeted about my thought of hijab or jilbab. Here are my tweets:

• Waktu gw kuliah, bokap gw bilang: "ga usah pake jilbab ndok, hatinya aja yg dijilbabin". Bokap gw cool bgt. Itu 14an tahun yg lalu.
• Kalau bokap gw masih hidup di jaman skrg,mgkn beliau akan setuju sama gw,kl jilbab ya sama aja dg orang pake bando atau konde. Hy aksesoris.
• Ga bisa menilai kesalehan dari jilbab,begitu juga jangan menilai berjilbab buruk karena orang tsb memakai celana n baju ketat. Biasa ajalah.
• Buat gw sih yg penting bagaimana perilakunya,ga rugiin orang atau bermanfaat itu lebih bagus. Perkara religiusitas, monggo disimpan sendiri. 

Those words came from my reaction after i saw the front page of daily newspaper (Kompas, Monday April 29th 2013). I saw Angel Elga wears hijab for legislative prospective candidate (red-calon legislatif-caleg). But the previous day or in Sunday, I read Kompas comic that show about the trend of hijab. First, a girl was passing three boys, she was wearing a sexy dress. Then that girl back again but with the different costume, which is look like a muslim clothing plus a hijab. And then the boys asked her where she was going to go. The girl answered that she wanted to be a caleg.

After many thoughts in my mind, then i wrote those tweets via twitter.Then few reactions were coming, i got some attentions and a critic, i loved it. Thank you twitter.  

-Y-

Hello _ First Posting

This is the first time i write my thoughts in English language. It is not because i have no time to do it, but it is because I have no confidence to do it. Everybody can says that you just need practices by keep talking and/or writing to improve your English. It sounds easy, but honestly it was not that easy for me. If i had had enough knowledge (grammar and vocabularies), then i could have spoken or written English fluently, but i didn't have enough knowledge. And now, i would not need more practices if i mastered the English language. Knowledge helps me build my confidence. I am not a person that have a confidence, naturally. That is why i have been taking an English course for eight mounts, seriously to know learn about grammar in deep.

Just like a quote: "it is never too late to learn". I keep that words, to step ahead until i reach my aim. So this is the actualization's place, to practices and there will be so many mistakes in grammar and wording that you'll find. Beside that maybe the sentences are more Indonesian English (if you know what i mean).

My teacher said that you had to think in English about everything on your mind. She warned me not to think in Indonesian language then you translate it, but do it in verse. All of that would be the easiest way to learn quick. 

Well, yes, maybe it is too late for my age. But, It is not easy to confess your lack. At least, learning to keep learning is a bliss.

-Y-